THE DEFINITIVE* HALLOWEEN CREATURES' GUIDE TO WINE

*Well, these are our best guesses, it's not like we could actually ask them.

Everyone knows Halloween is when the monsters come out to play (and we use the term “monsters” both figuratively to refer to our darling children, as well as literally). Now that we’re all grown up, Halloween is less about the candy. For adults without monsters, it’s a night for a fun adult party, and for those of us with small children, it’s basically about surviving sugar-induced child hysteria. Either way, Halloween calls for wine!  

But what about the actual monsters? What would THEY enjoy on Halloween? We're guessing no one has asked them before, so we at Sip Wines decided to play sommelier!

VAMPIRES - Sangiovese/Cabernet Sauvignon

What do vampires like more than anything? Blood. So OBVIOUSLY, a vampire would choose a blood-like wine. The literal choice? Sangiovese, popularly translated as “Blood of Jove” (although this probably isn’t the actual origin of the grape name). A close second would be Sangiovese’s “cousin,” the classic Cabernet Sauvignon, considered the “king” of red wines. Makes sense that a vampire would like that.

Sip Wines recommends: If we’re talking about Dracula, he’s a go big or go home kind of guy, so he'd choose the Kind Wines 2017 Cabernet Reserve. That's definitely at a special occasion price point; your average vampire would choose a cab from Topel Winery, which are classic “old world” style wines.

WITCHES - Any red blend

Sure, we think witches are sweet and smart now (Hermione Granger as played by Emma Watson, anyone?), but witches have a pretty complicated and fairly dark history. Those Macbeth witches, for example, were definitely not on the side of good. “Bubble, bubble, toil and trouble; fire burn and cauldron bubble” reveals their motives pretty clearly--and it also suggests that witches would enjoy drinking a red blend. You know, since they’re blending things in those big cauldrons.

Sip Wines recommends: The old-school witch would love the Medlock Ames 2018 Estate Red, since it has all kinds of stuff in it: 70% Cabernet Sauvignon, 19% Merlot, 6% Cabernet Franc, 4% Petit Verdot, 1% Malbec. On the other hand, the “witches” that you’ll find on a typical college campus would definitely go for the Boeschen Vineyards 2017 Carrera Estate Blend, described as “exuberant, sexy, and alluring.”

GHOSTS - Pinot Grigio (Pinot Gris)

Ghosts are so misunderstood.  Most of them are stuck here for depressing reasons, like unfinished business. Can you blame them for being so spooky? But instead of psychoanalyzing them to determine their favorite wine, let’s go with a more straightforward assessment.  Ghosts would definitely gravitate towards the lightest wines, since they’re, you know, incorporeal. A classic pinot grigio, or pinot gris, would do nicely.

Sip Wines recommends: Ghosts would probably love any of our options, but let’s go with the Billsboro Winery 2018 Pinot Gris. Why? Because at only $18/bottle, it’s also pretty light on the wallet.

ZOMBIES - Zinfandel

It is a common misconception that zombies eat people. Zombies are, in fact, more discerning than we give them credit for: they specifically eat brains, not just any human part. Still though, ew. We don’t want to suggest that ANY wine should be compared to brains, so let’s just look at a few characteristics that (loosley) suggest zombies would choose a Zinfandel. Typically the most robust red wine, many Zins are described as “ultraripe,” “intense,” and “chewy” (meaning the tannins). Sounds about right for a zombie.

Sip Wines recommends: No doubt, a zombie who could be convinced to diversify its diet to include wine would choose the Ambyth Estate 2017 Zinfandel. Although its tasting notes describe it as a more subdued Zin, it’s still a very robust wine. Also, we’ve tried it, and it’s delicious.

MUMMIES - Chardonnay/Sauvignon Blanc

Unlike the rest of our Halloween creatures, mummies are actually a real thing (sorry to burst your paranormal bubble), created by Ancient Egyptians as a way to preserve the bodies of their dead. Of course, there’s also the mummy’s curse that strikes anyone who opens a tomb… In any case, mummies would obviously want a dry wine, and they would probably be equally happy with a Chardonnay or a Sauvignon Blanc, two of the driest white wines out there.

Sip Wines recommends: King Tut might treat himself to the Left Coast Estate 2017 Suzanne’s Reserve Estate Chardonnay. But no mummy could go wrong with the award-winning Three of Cups 2019 Le Voeu Sauvignon Blanc.

WEREWOLVES - Pinot Noir

Definitely the most mercurial of the Halloween creatures, werewolves literally transform from one type of creature to another at the full moon. Historically they were pretty tragic figures, although recent pop culture turned them romantic and heroic (Team Jacob anyone?). In either case, the werewolf is most like the Pinot Noir, considered to be a fickle and “chameleon-like” grape and wine. Why? The grapes react very strongly to environmental changes and the wine itself can take dramatically different forms, depending on the style in which it’s produced.

Sip Wines recommends: So many choices...  the Ser Winery 2014 Santa Cruz Mountains Pinot Noir and the Patton Valley Vineyard 2017 Estate Pinot Noirare both great. But if a werewolf really couldn’t choose, there’s always the Pinot Noir variety pack from Winderlea Vineyard & Winery, with three different wines to try!

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